By JULIE V. IOVINEMARCH 2003 Barbara Jones remembers that the living room of her childhood home is a quiet place where she can read or play the piano quietly. Now, as an adult, she\'s in a mess in the living room in Manhattan --- Torn interior decoration in the armchair, a fake grocery store with shopping bags in a corner. It looks like the work of the Raiders; In fact, this is her 4-year- An 8-year-old twinyear-old. Mary Davidson, who lives in West Village with her husband and two children aged 8 and 10, attributes her surrender to the superhero statue that her first child began to take over when she was 3. They soon surrounded all the windowsills, shelves and ledge, and there was a good battle of turtle warriors on the table of the restaurant. \"When friends who had known us came over before, I would see it all through their eyes,\" she said . \" His husband is an architect. \"I was frightened. \"To the families of their main children -- In the past few years, all design magazines and home stores disguised as style statements about fashion fabrics have no longer been registered. Driven by a combination of paralysis that allows birth, two- These parents swear to make it a decoration if something has to be paid. Every family has a place for cocktails and conversation. The children were sent far away, just like the Victorian Loft nursery. Today, advertising in these departments has been broken with other family programs. William Sears, a pediatrician who wrote the discipline book ( Small Brown 1995) With his wife, Martha. \"Today\'s parents are smarter than their own, and the approach taken is usually more relaxed,\" said the doctor. Sears said. Nancy Samalin, author of the book \"Love does not destroy\", said that now more than ever, it is necessary to make children feel that home is a safe haven ( 2003) contemporary books. \"Their own bedroom should be a place where they feel safe and free to express themselves, but I don\'t like how they express themselves throughout the house,\" she said. \"But today, this is likely to be the case. \"On one occasion, everything was done in strict accordance with the schedule . \"Sears said. \"Today\'s parents are too busy to be bothered by routine. They are much more flexible and have to be much more flexible. \"Once their activities are limited to the limited scope of their own bedroom, the children become the real major -- Domos at home Annalee Rubin, 8, says the only hard rule in her family is \"watch out for the glass\" and never jump on a parent\'s bed when mom and dad look. Let go may not be fresh; Accept anarchy. For Ms. However, it was a struggle before Jones heard Caroline Kennedy walk In the playroom in the middle of her living room. \"Not just me,\" said the lady. Jones said. In an interview with more than a dozen couples, they said they had given up control of the interior of the family, and most said that once the original space gradually grew, lots of kids props from closets, bedrooms and even unknowingly. The first is the minimalism that was enforced during the baby period, when all surfaces were stripped off for safety. Next are wooden trains and Lego toys, and their exponential growth potential. In the early days of the school, a lot of art needs to be displayed. When the baby boomers were born and expanded their \"everything is about me\" philosophy to include their descendants, the worship of tolerance is only partly the reason. Today\'s parents are late in raising their children, and between awe and exhaustion, the children win. Ralph shestein, author of training toilets for yale ( Perseus Press, 2002) \"Naturally, today\'s parents gave their home to the children; They have changed their lives. For some parents, this is a reaction to the choking past. Proposed in color- Coordination 50-- Recent films such as \"Far From Heaven\" are so strongly etched --- They found that a sloppy interior could mean a happy home. \"It\'s different in their 50 s; \"My mother is genuinely trying to put our stuff in our room,\" said Ms Andrew Bartle . \" Husband of Davidson \"She\'s a cold Yankee. I am more tolerant of rubbish and we share a lot of things my parents have never shared with us like computers, videos and DVDs. Sharing is one thing, and it is another thing to retire. No room is safe today. Children\'s finger contact. Concept of Off-limits grown- Psychologists advocate the use of up space, but even Dr. Sears admits that it is no longer easy to create. \"Parents have forgotten how to refuse,\" he said . \". \"In general, today\'s society respects children more than in the past. But children also need to know that adults also live in the house. The game room is a welfare in the suburbs. But they are no longer arranged in the lounge in the basement. Nowadays, parents feel obliged to provide such supervision. The restaurant has become a convenient choice and is no longer used. Mary Henry went one step further with her husband, Howard Rubin. They live with their three children and they are between the ages of 6 and 10 Bedroom apartment in Upper East Side, formal dining room decorated with gorgeous Chinese patterns. When the table was sent for repair five years ago, Ms. Henry put down the gym mat, some inflatable furniture and a mini trampoline. Now the day after Christmas every year, the table and a large chandelier are sent to the storage room, and the restaurant becomes a gym for 10 months. It only lasts until winter when the kids are at home, but now the gym stays until Halloween. \"My goal is to keep them away from other rooms . \"Henry said. ( At the same time, the children wrote stories about the gym where they had their Christmas dinner at school. ) Allowing a free house is not only the last resort for overworked parents, but also a modern parent-child activity with a focus on close engagement. When it comes to the precious few family hours that are crowded into busy schedules, parenting magazines emphasize quality rather than quantity. While past parents had their children go to bed before the cocktail party, today\'s parents are more likely to spend their time on the floor and let the rubber letters dance. \"They put you and your children on the floor . \" Jones, it\'s no stranger to crawling limbs. \"But my sister told me that mom never did it! \"The school\'s artwork is a major contributor to the surrender syndrome. Even parents who are artists claim to be overwhelmed. Mark Meining, a sculptor, lives with his wife and two children in Bethlehem, Connecticut, aged 5 and 8, respectively. Call all the paper artwork that his children have brought home over the years \"environmental disaster \". His solution: 10-foot-wide, 5-foot- High wall between kitchen and eating area for rotating exhibition. \"As an artist, you started your life thinking that your home should look like a cut -- \"Your advantage as your job . \" Mennin says he now feels more like a gallery owner than an artist. \"It\'s a tricky thing to have two ego to deal with and no one wants to go to the back room. \"The advertising of school administrators and art teachers has not made things easier. Elizabeth Zavada, director of pottery at Greenwich House, New York ceramic arts center, said her school passes 2,000 pounds of clay a week. She added that it is not uncommon for children to make sculptures the size of grocery bags. Everything went home. What are you doing with this money? Ms. \"Show it,\" Zawada said. Integrate it. Live with it. Parents should keep the artwork of all their children, she added, because even if they don\'t want it, it will remind them to have a connection with something creative. \"Many parents take these words very seriously, and the emotions expressed by art teachers, who interpret each Red Slash on a piece of debris as an important expression. The result is an archive of precious materials that cannot be stored ( More likely to deal) Claimed proud location on fireplace and shelf- And all the other bass available. Artist Arnold Zimmerman (Arnold Zimmerman) has been collecting her daughter\'s pottery for 6 years and he has built 4 8- Foot rack to keep all permanent display. \"I keep everything she does . \" Zimmerman lives in a loft with a long shelf. \"Fortunately, she is now 10 years old and doesn\'t make much money. \"Sooner or later, the days of art and toys will come slowly. For Ms. Davidson, the day of accounting is up, she is measuring the drooping things on the shelf with pottery, realizing that she no longer knows who has done what among her two children. That\'s it: she hired an organizer to get to know her home from inside out. She put her shopping bag full of dusty pottery on the street corner, late at night, long after going to bed. Charles Ross, architect of Somerset, Massachusetts. He also found the way back to his adult. too rooms. Over the years, he did not believe in \"decorating furniture\" and encouraged all kinds of free expression with his first wife. His two children were allowed to draw pictures on walls and furniture. \"They threw everything away and then we got a leather Corbu lounge and they threw it away too,\" he said . \". But now, Mr. Rose is building his own house with furniture made by his children. \"I\'m in a new place,\" he said . \" Ross, since he remarried, he has a 6-month-old. He has more structure in his new life. Rooms in Rose House are defined by activities. There is a quiet room, a reading room and an art room. \"It was a huge breakthrough and it took me years of analysis to limit the food to the kitchen,\" Mr. Rose said. \"It\'s a different space experience, a richer experience. \"Of course, his children are getting older and older, the 12-year-oldyear- The old one began to look at the car. We are constantly improving the quality of text archives. Please send feedback, error reports, and suggestions to archid_feedback @ nytimes. com. A version of this article appears in print on March 20, 2003, on page F00001 of the national edition, with the Title: Dear, I have a Lego toy in my martini.
：
